You know, i've been sick so long everyone just kinda dismisses my sickness already. i don't think i'm sourcing for pity here but i guess just sharing how much it affects me.. its gonna be according to a sadness meter, with 1 being not so sad and 5 being aHHHH!

1. it sucks that everytime i laugh, i end up in some coughing fit which would make the veins on my forehead pop out- sadness meter (3)
2. i love eating, everyone knows that, but sometimes eating is depressing when you can't taste the food because your nose is blocked, yet feel the fat piling on - sadness meter (5)
3. It's also not fun, when i run for the bus, and after i get on the bus, i get a asthma attach due to the fact i'm breathing through my nose (1)
4. I get mind numbing headaches. When the Sinus flows up my nasal passage. Imagine a brain freeze, then think of it, X1hr long, oh wait make that 4 hrs long.. (5)
   

well yup that's about it..in addition to all the thinking i've been made to do recently, its just awesome:)

P.s: Watching House doesnt exactly help ease my worries either..

i was going to talk about some serious topic again but then i decided to post my theme song for life at this point of time. Seriously. I'm Unwell. Physically and Mentally :p

Unwell- Matchbox 20
All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me

Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

On Impulse Bre and I went out looking for a bag pack coz i needed a new one, and after walking around Marina and Suntec, and rotting at KFC for a while, i suddenly said why dont we head to the Singapore Flyer to take a look and it was really nice!:) she took loads of photos with her phone and kept complaining she should have brought the dSLR..It's a nice open concept, and we kinda sat on this ledge near the exit of the Flyer.. i think it was a good time of reflection and all, just watching all sorts of different people come off the Flyer and people just mingling around. Plus the weather was gorgeous too:) so many clouds and all.. It really was a long time since i've just sat around doing nothing and i must say it was really refreshing..Just thinking about ministry, i guess i need to relax a little and find out which ministries i want to focus more on.

i think i set a really high expectation for myself and i always think what more can i do and all, and of course i really look up to the experienced ones in the ministry, and often ask myself how come i cannot be as good as them, but i think one thing i learnt(mind you its a really difficult to admit) is that well i'm still young, and immature and there are a lot of things i still do not know yet, and it would be foolish to try and take on so many things at one time.

So well its a period of thinking for me and major changes, oh Lord please help me to make the correct decisions:)


P.s: Lord i would love a dSLR too:)

i realized when it came down to writing it's actually so much harder to tell write a decent post, but whatever, i'm just going to try to write my thoughts down and hopefully someone understands..

I was having a conversation with a friend when he made a very interesting statement; he told me if i ever needed a guitar to bring for missions i could take his big baby taylor along. or even if i just wanted a guitar to play with i could use it.. Well granted it was quite an old guitar and it is definitely has the scars to show it.. but what is interesting is the following statement he made, he said "what's the use of having the high end Taylor and Martins, but you cant or are not willing to let it be used for missions?"

Well there are 2 sides to this "argument" and i'm gonna try my best to argue both sides.

i know to the guitar experts a big baby Taylor ain't very expensive, but i feel it is a good enough guitar for me, given my limited knowledge of music and skill, but i think its more so the heart behind it. Let's take a look at some reasons

Reasons why "I" cannot lend my guitar to someone.

1. They don't know how to take care of it.
2. It's too expensive.
3. I cannot bear to leave my guitar.
4. Bringing it to Missions might damage it

Well lets answer them one by one.
Firstly, i do admit its true a lot of people do not know how to take care of guitars. It's only until recently that i learnt the importance of drying out the guitar, making sure the neck is straight, wiping down the neck after use and all, and all this contribute to the final output of sound coming from the guitar. So a beginner or another friend might not have the same standards when it comes to taking care of your guitar. So that's quite a valid reason.

The second and third point leads me to another question. Do we sometimes make an idol out of our guitar? Just a personal sharing, i've been looking to get a new guitar recently, with a budget of around 1k, but i asked myself this question, if i got a guitar which i really like, and it sounds wonderful and all, but i dont allow others to play it, have i fulfilled the purpose of getting a guitar? Having said that i think we need to use discernment

When it comes to lending others a guitar..i mean i would lend it to someone who needs to use it and i know would take care of it, but obviously if i know someone who always spoils things and doesnt bother about taking care of his things i would need to chat with him and find out if he/she will be able to take care of my guitar properly.

Bringing guitar to missions, i've learnt from an Christian guitar forum that sometimes Airlines do not take care of your luggage even if there is a Fragile sticker pasted on it. And a lot of times teams usually leave their guitars behind for them to use. Well, in this case it might actually be smarter to bring an old but functional guitar there.

Gosh i've written so much crap i dont even know what i'm talking about anymore. But the way it forms up in my mind seems perfectly clear just that i cant seem to pen my thought down. Well bottom line is this, I believe we should lend our guitars to people on the condition that they take care of it.

RAWR so much for a first intellectual post. More like a confusing stupid one.

There was once Crosslink had a music camp and i attended the guitar class. Well i was busy running around setting up the rooms for the various classes so i was just on time for the class. And i didn bring a guitar with me to the camp coz the only one i have is a classical and neither did i have to time to go look for one. So i gave a call to my friend Melissa, who brought her guitar to the camp but she was in another workshop, and mind you it was a Taylor 314 *drools* and it was brand new..less then a mth old. i asked her if i could borrow her guitar for the class. Well thinking back, if i was in her shoes, it would have been easier to say no. i mean its a new guitar, it's super expensive, and well i'm not very good at guitar and neither was i known for my gentleness. But she agreed and just said please take care of it:) and honestly i could sense the "dread" in her voice and who could blame her? But overall i thank God for her maturity in handling that situation and for being so open:)

speak good english

In my effort to improve my ability to spell i have decided to start another blog! it's so amazing to think how i got an A2 for Os yet i cant even spell simple words like definitiely( its spelt definitely) 3 years in Poly has definitely caused by english to degenerate, and my cause is not helped by the usefulness of Microsoft word's spell check:)

Hopefully i put this blog to better use then my previous one..heh and since no one knows about this blog yet i'll just write loads of rubbish thoughts!