Bleh. Know i haven't been blogging lately. Just so lazy to do it): and that stupid imeem is still not working for me!!

Just gonna write about an interesting sermon today:p

Pastor preached from Jeremiah 18:1 - and it he was just saying we need to be in the right spiritual/physical position to hear God's voice. He also said, as we mature in our faith, we start to take back the things we surrendered to God at the altar. I see the truth in that, how as we mature in faith, we have less and less dependence on Him, thus bringing me to the topic of today's sermon, Surrendering. He gave 3 points as to why we do not surrender, PRIDE- self explanatory, FEAR- of being vulnerable, weak and plain REBELLIOUSNESS.

Final and most piercing question. When we surrender, do we do it willingly, or do we do it because we expect the blessing at the end of it?

Just one really small encouragement for me today, i was sitting in service today, first time in like 2 yrs i went for service twice in a mth! and all of a sudden a sense of loneliness swept over me. i thought of elroi, lucy and james, and how these brothers are so dear to me, and i could go to church every week and relax and hang out with them..and i left all of that behind when i went to Charis. all of my close friends have left. i sit alone at the back of the hall during service, most people just know me as a children's church teacher and conversations are superficial at best. and i was just closing my eyes and i asked God, remind me again why i'm here. why i have to be forced to act like an adult and to have an expectations placed on me with no where to hide and no one to share my burden.

But when i opened my eyes i was sooo shocked to see aunty Chloe, my children's church head standing beside me in worship! if i rarely had a chance to come for service, she almost never came at all! and right there and then i remembered that i was there to learn, and the road is truly long. but hang tough amos. so many people have asked me why i haven't left yet, well there're really so many churches i would really have enjoyed, but somehow or rather i dont feel the call to move yet..so oh wells :p

i surrendered you(: